Every year, thousands of business owners head off on holiday with every intention of switching off. Yet many never really do. Laptops are packed “just in case”, emails are checked before breakfast, Teams calls are squeezed in between family activities and client messages are answered from airport lounges, campsites and hotel balconies. We tell ourselves we’re simply staying on top of things, but perhaps there’s a deeper question hiding beneath the surface.
Have we normalised a style of leadership that expects business owners to be permanently available? More importantly, what effect is that having on our own wellbeing, on our families and on the people who work for us?
As Northern Ireland continues to grapple with one of the most significant mental health challenges anywhere in the UK, and as recent reviews warn that services remain underfunded and under increasing pressure, perhaps it’s time to ask whether employers – and particularly business owners – have a responsibility to look after themselves as well as the businesses they’ve worked so hard to build. I’m not writing this article because I have the answers. I’m writing it because, in a week’s time, I’ll be sitting beside a swimming pool in Italy asking myself exactly the same questions.
The Holiday That Starts with a Laptop
Every summer, thousands of business owners pack the same essentials: passports, swimwear, sun cream and a few books they’ll probably never get around to reading. Then, almost as if on autopilot, the laptop goes into the suitcase. Not because we expect a crisis. Not because we don’t trust our colleagues. Simply because we’ve convinced ourselves that we’ll probably need it. “I’ll only check emails for an hour each morning,” we tell ourselves. “I’ll stay on top of anything urgent. It’ll stop little problems becoming bigger ones.”
It’s a familiar ritual and, if I’m honest, it’s exactly the conversation I’ve been having with myself. If you asked my wife or the children, they’d probably tell you my/our holiday is long overdue – not that I’m that hard to get along with throughout the year. Looking back over the past year, they’re absolutely right. Like most owner-managers, my days have been consumed by clients, candidates, proposals, networking, business development and the countless decisions that come with any business.
On paper, I should be desperate to switch off. Yet before we’ve even left home, I’ve already decided that I’ll probably spend an hour each morning checking emails, replying to messages and dealing with anything that needs my attention. The strange thing is that nobody has asked me to do that. My team certainly hasn’t. One of the things I’m most proud of at May Consulting is the quality of the people around me. They are perfectly capable of looking after our clients, progressing assignments and making sensible decisions while I’m away. I have complete confidence in them.
So why do I still feel the need to stay connected? The more I thought about it, the more I realised this probably isn’t a business issue at all. It’s a psychological one.
When Did Constant Availability Become Good Leadership?
Somewhere over the past twenty years, we’ve quietly rewritten the rules of business ownership. Technology has undoubtedly transformed how we work. Microsoft Teams, smartphones, WhatsApp and cloud-based systems mean we can run businesses from almost anywhere in the world. That’s remarkable progress.
The problem is that capability has slowly become expectation. Twenty-five years ago, if you were on holiday, you were genuinely away. Clients knew you couldn’t respond immediately. Suppliers waited. Colleagues made decisions. The business carried on. Today, we carry the office in our pocket. The result is that many business owners are never truly absent. We may be physically sitting on a beach, but mentally we’re still in the boardroom.
What’s perhaps more concerning is that we’ve started to celebrate this behaviour. We admire founders who answer emails at midnight. We describe entrepreneurs as “driven” because they haven’t taken a proper holiday in years. We applaud people who are always available, always connected and always working. If an elite athlete trained every day without recovery, we’d call it unsustainable. If a Formula One team never serviced the car between races, we’d call it reckless. Yet in business we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that permanent availability is a sign of commitment rather than a warning sign.
Perhaps we’ve confused accessibility with leadership?
The Unexpected Lesson from a Golf Course
Earlier this year I joined my local golf Club. Initially, it was partly about business. Golf remains one of the best environments in which to build relationships, spend time with clients and have conversations that simply don’t happen across a boardroom table.
What I didn’t expect was the impact it would have on me personally. I’ve developed a habit of playing early in the morning before work. For two or three hours there are no emails demanding attention, no Teams notifications flashing across a screen and no diary reminding me where I need to be next. There’s simply fresh air, exercise and enough quiet to organise my thoughts before the working day begins.
The effect has been surprisingly profound. I’m sleeping earlier, sleeping better and exercising more consistently than I have in years. More importantly, I’m arriving at work calmer and clearer. Decisions feel less rushed, problems feel more manageable and conversations become more considered. Ironically, spending less time thinking about work appears to be making me better at it.
That made me realise something. Perhaps the biggest benefit isn’t golf at all. Perhaps it’s simply that, for a few hours every week, I’ve given myself permission to disconnect.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
One thing fascinates me about business owners. When the phone vibrates, our minds rarely imagine good news. Before we’ve even looked at the screen, we’ve already written the story. A client is unhappy. A candidate has withdrawn. A member of staff has resigned. A project has gone wrong. Cash flow. Payroll. A complaint.
Then we open the email.
“Just checking Tuesday still suits.”
“Thanks for your help.”
“Hope you’re enjoying your holiday.”
Nothing dramatic at all.
Yet our brains instinctively prepare for disaster. Why? Because responsibility changes how we think. When you’re responsible for payroll, clients, suppliers and the livelihoods of other people, your brain becomes conditioned to anticipate risk. That’s often what makes good leaders effective. We spot problems early because we’re constantly scanning for them. The difficulty is that, over time, the same instinct that protects the business can begin to consume the individual. Eventually, vigilance becomes habit. Habit becomes identity. And identity becomes very difficult to switch off.
A Wider Mental Health Conversation
This is where the conversation becomes much bigger than holidays. Northern Ireland has long experienced disproportionately high levels of poor mental health, driven by a complex combination of historical trauma, socioeconomic pressures and long waiting lists for treatment. Recent reviews of the Northern Ireland Mental Health Strategy have concluded that progress has been significantly constrained by funding and implementation challenges. At the same time, reports suggesting that many psychiatrists are considering leaving the profession because of burnout raise serious concerns about the capacity of the system just as demand continues to increase.
Against that backdrop, it’s worth asking whether business leaders are unintentionally adding to an already difficult picture. The World Health Organisation now recognises burnout as an occupational phenomenon. The CIPD has consistently highlighted the link between excessive workload, poor recovery and declining performance. The Institute of Directors increasingly frames wellbeing as a board-level leadership issue rather than simply an HR initiative.
These aren’t abstract concepts. Every owner-manager knows the feeling of lying awake at two o’clock in the morning thinking about a difficult conversation tomorrow. Every employer has worried about making payroll during quieter months. Every founder has questioned whether they’re making the right decisions. Stress isn’t unusual in business. Living permanently in a heightened state of stress shouldn’t be normal.
The Example We Set
Perhaps the most uncomfortable question of all is this. What example are we setting for the next generation of leaders? If younger managers see senior leaders answering emails at midnight, cancelling annual leave, working through illness and apologising for taking a weekend off, what conclusion will they draw? Probably that this is what leadership looks like. Yet the evidence increasingly points in the opposite direction. Better decisions require recovery. Creativity requires space. Judgement improves when people are rested. High-performing organisations are built by sustainable leaders, not exhausted ones.
That doesn’t mean running a business is easy. It isn’t. Nor does it mean owners can simply ignore problems while they’re away. They can’t. The point is not that business owners should
never open a laptop on holiday. The point is whether we’ve reached a stage where we no longer feel we have a choice. They’re two very different things.
Perhaps the Business Doesn’t Need Me Quite as Much as I Think
There is another possibility, and it’s one many of us probably don’t like admitting. Perhaps we’ve quietly convinced ourselves that we’re indispensable. Not because we are, but because it’s become part of who we are.
Building a business demands sacrifice. It requires resilience, determination and countless hours that nobody else sees. Over time, the business stops being something we own; it becomes part of our identity. Perhaps that’s why switching off feels uncomfortable, because it forces us to confront a question we’d rather avoid. What if the business copes perfectly well without us for two weeks?
Far from being a threat, perhaps that’s actually the greatest measure of leadership. After all, the purpose of building a strong team isn’t simply to help us grow. It’s to create an organisation capable of thriving when we’re not in the room.
A Question I’d Like Other Business Owners to Answer
In a few days’ time, I’ll almost certainly take my laptop to Italy and, if I’m being completely honest, I’ll probably still spend an hour each morning checking emails. Old habits don’t disappear overnight, and perhaps they shouldn’t. Running a business brings responsibilities that don’t disappear simply because we’re sitting beside a swimming pool.
This year, however, I’ll be asking myself a different question. Am I genuinely protecting the business by staying connected, or am I simply reinforcing a habit that I’ve spent years convincing myself is essential? I’d be genuinely interested to hear what other business owners think.
Have we created a culture where constant availability has become confused with good leadership, or is remaining permanently connected simply the unavoidable price we pay for building businesses that people depend upon? I’m no longer convinced the answer is as obvious as I once thought.